I am tired and I love you.

I don’t want to love you.

I really don’t.

Love is messy and unnerving and it makes people crazy.

Sometimes a good crazy, I’d like to think.

But who else would offer to drive me all the way home,

and blare The Avett Brothers and laugh and sing

and pull me out of old habits time and time again

and how could I not love slow dances in the Target parking lot

and those 20 miserable drivers education hours that you made so much less miserable

and not even realizing we had spent 5 hours at the coffee shop

and the anchor you bought me, even though you think they’re silly,

and how you knew he would only hurt me, and tried hard to protect me.

(If I had listened to you in the first place, things would be so different.)

but I am tired and I love you.

and that’s all I can think about.

I miss you,

always,

and I love you,

and I will wait as long as it takes.